Journal- What My Parents Expected

My family always expected me to go to college. I was just never interested. My mother always wanted to take me on college visits and make me take the ACT. I finally let her take me on a college visit to a school I had zero interest in, but it was only so I could sneak out of the hotel room at 1 a.m. with a guy I knew.
I finally signed up for the ACT, but I never studied for it. I stayed up really late the night before, and when it came time for me to actually go, I instead chose to go to my boyfriend’s house and eat pancakes. I was at the stoplight at the intersection of MidRivers and Mexico considering my options. Turning right would get me to school in three minutes flat. It was 7:55, and the test was at 8. Instead I went straight, giving me no time to change my mind.
During the twenty-minute drive to his house, I thought about all the different ways my mother was going to kill me. The test was supposed to take a few hours, so I used this to my advantage since she was expecting me not to call her. After we ate pancakes, we decided to go to a state park that was about two hours away, near the Lake of the Ozarks. I realized my phone was going to lose signal, so I quickly sent a text to my sister that I hadn’t taken the test.
The next time I saw my mother was at my sister’s school play that night. She never mentioned the test to me, not then, and still not to this day. It was like we silently acknowledged the fact that we just weren’t going to agree on this issue. She never mentioned college to me until a few months later, when she asked me where I thought my life was going. I told her simply: I didn’t know. I knew I was breaking my mom’s heart.
I never applied to any school besides this one, even though I knew it was probably a poor choice. My family just wanted the best for me. I felt like I shouldn’t go to school for them; I should go to school for me. A big reason I chose to move away from home was so that it could be my decision, and not my family’s.
I know my family and I may not always see eye-to-eye, but they really are looking out for me. In the end, I’m glad I made this decision to go to school, because I know it will benefit me in the long run, but it’s also nice to know I’m making my family happy.
Looking back, I can see that it was selfish of me not to take advantage of all the opportunities presented to me. This situation ended up being a wake-up call to me not to let opportunities pass me by.